Author Topic: Secular Buddhist remembers past lives  (Read 638 times)

Offline Spiny Norman

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Secular Buddhist remembers past lives
« on: February 04, 2016, 01:27:56 am »
The UK secular Buddhist community has been thrown into confusion following a public claim of past-life memories by one of it's leading lights. Frank Skeptic, a retired science teacher from Surrey, posted a detailed account of his past-life memories on an internet blog some weeks ago. Frank had become well known in Buddhist circles for his radical new interpretation of dependent origination, which blends the evolutionary principle with gestalt theory ( or something ).

Frank has described detailed memories of a former life as a chimney sweep in Victorian London, and fragments of a previous existence as an undertaker in France. His chimney sweep memories have sparked a lot of interest from historians specialising in the Victorian era. As one of them commented: "There are only three people in the country who could have described things in such accurate detail, and Mr. Skeptic certainly isn't one of them. We gather he used to be a teacher, but he certainly isn't an academic - he'd need far more letters after his name to be one of us."

Friends and family have been astounded not only by Franks revelations, but also by the drastic change in his personality since his epiphany. Inexplicably it seems that Frank has taken on the character of his the chimney-sweep he claims to have been in a past-life. His wife Cecilia was bewildered and frustrated: "It's simply not the Frank I know at all. He's started smoking roll-up cigarettes and now talks with this dreadful cockney accent. One simply doesn't know what to do. And he drinks tea continuously."

Frank, though, seems very matter-of-fact about his experience: "There I was, lyin' in me barf, and suddenly it all came flooding back. I can remember right back to being a nipper, being shoved up them bleedin' chimneys wiv all that soot gettin' in me eyes, and the guvnor making very un'elpful suggestions from darn below. I can remember like yesterday getting me own set of brushes and feeling like a real man. Then I fell in love with that governess Mary, but that's a whole nuvver story."

Frank has now joined an SGI group, much to the consternation of his secular Buddhist colleagues. But Frank is unrepentant: "At least you know where you are with them," he exlained, "No ifs or bleedin' buts, no messing abart with the sutras. I feel so bleedin' embarrassed, all the times I slagged off them rebirth believers - now I know it's all true! My secular mates ain't been round, they fink I need a check-up from the neck-up. But I ain't barmy, It's all true, so help me!"
"I do wish he'd see a doctor" said his wife with a deep sigh. "And I do wish he'd stop cleaning the chimneys, I'm forever cleaning up after him."

Frank has started to write a book about his past-life as a chimney sweep in Victorian times, and is also planning a tour of French undertakers in the hope of identifying another previous life.

So is there really something to Frank's past-life memories, or is he just delusional? It's an intriguing question, but he does seem irrepressibly chirpy.

"Now, as the ladder of life 'as been strung
You might think a sweep's on the bottommost rung
Though I spends me time in the ashes and smoke
In this 'ole wide world there's no 'appier bloke"

 


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