Author Topic: Handling Just Criticism  (Read 1601 times)

Offline mindfulmatt

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Handling Just Criticism
« on: October 25, 2016, 07:54:50 am »
Hi everyone,
I have a question about handling criticism in a mindful way. I started a new job earlier this year in which I lead a team of teachers. Because I am new and they are not, there are times I make mistakes or do not know things as well as they do. Even though I am their boss, they will often find ways to let me know their thoughts or feedback. It is very hard for me to deal with this and yet, they are essentially right. Other times it is my boss who has criticism or feedback. On days when I get such feedback, it swirls in my mind all day, in and out, in and out, hundreds of times. I find it hard to sleep and concentrate on anything else.

I try to just note my thoughts and move on (either during meditation or during the day) but after doing this dozens and dozens of times I just want to fall apart.
I'd appreciate any advice on this.

Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: Handling Just Criticism
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2016, 06:33:50 pm »
Hi, Mindfulmatt.

Very honest admissions certainly to be admired as examples of great insight.

When mental dissonance arises, such as reaction or resistance to honest criticism, through personal examination I have found these usually reveal roots originating in the delusion of self.  Therefore, I kindly suggest spending some time with Buddha's teachings regarding emptiness, followed by a session or two of personal examination in focussed meditation. 

Here are a few references, which were helpful to me:

SN 35.85 PTS: S iv 54 CDB ii 1163
Suñña Sutta: Empty
translated from the Pali by
Thanissaro Bhikkhu
© 1997

MN 122 PTS: M iii 109
Maha-suññata Sutta: The Greater Discourse on Emptiness
translated from the Pali by
Thanissaro Bhikkhu

My final suggestion is to come to the realization that the role of leadership is to facilitate achievement of objectives as a team effort working in harmony.  The primary job of any leader is to communicate the teams goals and objectives and to assure that team members have every tool they need to accomplish their goals and objectives. A leader makes it clear to the team that if only one team member fails, the entire team fails, and when the team succeeds, all team members succeed.
« Last Edit: October 26, 2016, 07:26:48 am by Ron-the-Elder »
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline stillpointdancer

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Re: Handling Just Criticism
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2016, 02:34:37 am »
Surrounded by nasty people trying to put you down, or by helpful people guiding you through a rough patch, or a bit of both? Luckily we have Buddhism, which allows us to see the same thing, but in different ways.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka


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