Author Topic: How much can somebody else, or others, influence you? (Reflection, experiances)  (Read 118 times)

Offline Samana Johann

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Is somebody else - and if, how, who and why - able to influence your ways and tendencies, or is it untouchable, out of reach, to change your ways? Did such, if even such ever happened, happened just by it self?

Maybe you like to share a reflection of you personal experiances and try to count the reasons how it actually happened.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2017, 11:36:27 pm by Samana Johann »
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Offline ground

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Being influenced or manipulated by others, news and the like is a rule in the sphere of ordinary consciousness.

Having overcome ordinary consciousness through direct perception of the emptiness of everything and nothing entails unshakable spontaneously present certainty and concomitant cessation of influence or manipulation.

Offline Samana Johann

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Pacceca-Aharahats have reached all by themselves, even their body and birth, not to speak about insight they have gained... my person understands already their believe, your "direct perception Ground, or how ever wordily you like to express it.
(When such sees a car, he knows "that is a car". Nobody like to tell him... that is because of his direct perception)

What about the many Non-Pacceca-Aharahats, not be born independent, not able to produce Ahara (food) by themselves?

[Just for those who do not know much about Grounds believe: this sentences are "zynical" or not really serious, just calming, frog pills]
« Last Edit: September 23, 2017, 03:40:19 am by Samana Johann »
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Offline ground

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What about the many Non-Pacceca-Aharahats, not be born independent, not able to produce Ahara (food) by themselves?
Asking questions is begging for influence and manipulation due to lack of certainty. Lack of certainty is the result of not applying rationality or not having the capacity for rationality.
Asking questions is a child's practice.

:fu:

Offline Samana Johann

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There are people when asking to not ask but give possible seldom possibilities to reflect and give one self a very needed gift.

But that is nothing proper for Aharahats... they think they have given already all, yet still next the refrigorator.

Asking questions is the best a child can do! Sure Aharahats like Ground are already adult. Yet not knowing how much kamma causing by spreading his immaturity and lack of faith all around him.

Maybe useful here on this place, since its not only harmful for one self to speak A-Dhamma, like telling people "Asking questions is a child's practice." , not to speak of associating with people holding strong wrong views:

Dutiyapamādādivaggo: The Second Section on Heedlessness

From the Vinaya Pitaka, as far as my person can word it right, just in its meaning:

And who is a person with Nissaya (many meanings: from luck till ground or teacher, condition)? A person who seeks for those who actually know, approaches them and ask. Such is a person who has Nissaya (good fortune). Is blessed!
« Last Edit: September 23, 2017, 11:25:44 pm by Samana Johann »
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Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Samana Johann:  "Is somebody else - and if, how, who and why - able to influence your ways and tendencies, or is it untouchable, out of reach, to change your ways? Did such, if even such ever happened, happened just by it self?"

The first  and probably most significant influence was parents:

They teach us how to dress, how to eat, how to behave, how to worship, how to interact, what to study in school, and etc..  It is for this reason that Buddha taught us to respect our parents, and to honor the contributions they have made to us, giving us this life of ours in The Human Realm of The 31 Planes of Existence in which we will eventually find and study The Dhamma.  Ironically, it is to our parents that we first become attached and cling as children, and then realize as adults the difficulty of dealing with their infirmaties as they age, need our assistance and support, and then eventually their deaths.  Still to this day I think of them, longing to see them again, but realizing that their bodies have long turned to dust due to the biological and physical processes of corruption, which occur after death.

What is curious to me is the way that we forget our parents miss-treatments and shortcomings and replace such memories eventually with understanding as we live our lives having acted as parents ourselves, age, succumb to disease, infirmity, and approach death, which brings us a better understanding and appreciation of the challenges our parents faced as well.

Next, in order of significance are our friends and associates as children with whom we learned to play and interact as persons both in our homes, neighborhoods, community gatherings, and schools.  Some were dear influences and examples for the good.  Some not so good.  These too have brought longings as they have aged, acquired diseases and died.  Only a few remain at my age.  Most of my beloved friends and especially First Cousins have died.  I still feel the longing for their company and have much more appreciation and a much deeper appreciation for the few who remain.  One first cousin and I call each other regularly just to let the other know that we are thinking about them.  It brings a very warm feeling just to hear their voices and to recall our closeness as childhood friends.  Therefore, I remain wary of the affectations upon our impending deaths, as suffering inevitably arises from separation.

Teachers have influenced us dramatically in our lives, yet, aside from our personal educations there are not many with whom we become close on an emotional level of attachment, except those who showed us some kind of deep personal interest.  As they have died most affectations of separation have only arisen as mental notes, much like we do with musical performers whose art we experienced and  appreciated. 

I can only think of a few such teachers in my life:  My third grade teacher, who used to read to us from a collection of stories from "The Wizard of Oz" with whom I fell in love as a child and was deeply disappointed when she announced that she was going to be married, and then had the audacity to retire from teaching that very same year.  And, the only other, a music teacher, who may or may not be still alive.

There were also a few neighbors, co-workers, and bosses who meant anything significant to me in life, but none of them cause any deep emotional attachments to arise.

The last, was my first wife and mother of our four children, who has been dead now since 2005, over ten years.  My heart still longs to see her.  I still hear her voice in my mind.  I still dream of her.  And as I write tears still come to my eyes.  This is my most personal and deepest attachment with  which  I still deal and which still to this day brings feelings of anguish.

It is this relationship, which truly makes me appreciate the veracity and importance of Buddha's teachings regarding "desire", "clinging", and "attachment" as functions / relationships with dukkha, what Buddha described as birth, aging, disease, and death in this samsaric realm in which we have all been born, what he called, "This entire tangled ball of suffering."...  with which we must all learn to understand, penetrate, and to deal if we are ever going escape from its effects. :r4wheel:

« Last Edit: September 24, 2017, 04:39:15 am by Ron-the-Elder »
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline Samana Johann

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Sadhu! And:

Sadhu! For this generous gift with "very personal" sacrifies.

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What is curious to me is the way that we forget our parents miss-treatments and shortcomings and replace such memories eventually with understanding as we live our lives having acted as parents ourselves, age and approach death, which brings us a better understanding and appreciation of the challenges our parents faced as well.


That is actually not really normal and one can be rightous "proud" being "gifted" to have gained certain level of a person of integrity. Mudita.

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8. "Reverence, humility, contentment, gratitude, and the timely hearing of the Dhamma, the teaching of the Buddha — this is the highest blessing.

Discourse on Blessings (Maha-mangala Sutta)

Looking a little deeper: Actually not "just" certain level, in certain cases. Mudita!

« Last Edit: September 24, 2017, 03:51:23 am by Samana Johann »
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