Author Topic: To let go or not - please help  (Read 741 times)

Offline ground

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2017, 09:33:22 pm »
...Had he given up, he would be still living among us, ...
Certainly not. Enlightened or not, he is and would be dead anyway.

Offline Rita

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #16 on: June 27, 2017, 01:05:30 am »
Hi Rahul and everyone
You all have given me great advice. I was at a Buddhist lecture over the weekend and the teacher was suggesting to me that he would resign and let go in my situation. He said that he quits committees regularly when they get too troublesome. I was quite surprised and said that if we did that, then we can never nurture our character or build resilience. He did not respond to me...so I was left wondering if Buddhism teaches us to be weak and abandon pursuits each time they are challenging. I suspect that what he told me may have been an inaccurate version of Buddha's teachings or I could have misinterpreted him. Thank you again so much. This is a fantastic forum for me to hear and learn from other Buddhist practitioners.
I would love to learn more about Buddhism but finding it hard to find people who could guide me along. I have therefore resorted to this forum.

Offline Rahul

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2017, 03:07:26 am »
...so I was left wondering if Buddhism teaches us to be weak and abandon pursuits each time they are challenging.

'Let go', 'let go', is often quoted by monks. It is actually taken as an excuse to give up difficult things. But that's not what 'let go' was taught for by the Buddha. Nothing comes without efforts. You should read about 5 years of arduous struggle of Buddha to achieve enlightenment, and about different ways he had resorted during his practice. It's simply mind-blowing. Without taking much of your time, here's Buddha's last advice to all of us:

Quote
Behold, O monks, this is my last advice to you. All formations are bound to age. Strive hard with mindfulness to gain your own salvation.

Strive hard... Not give up.

Offline Rita

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2017, 07:00:15 am »
Thank you v much for your insights Rahul. They sit better with me than to just give up because things are difficult. I will also try to focus on the positives of my actions rather than my fear of them.

Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2017, 12:45:47 pm »
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Rita:  "This whole matter is causing me much stress as I feel very alone in this. I keep thinking of the situation as well. I wonder if you have any suggestions? I can leave the role and not be part of the Executive Committee. However my fear is that the body corporate funds will then be squandered as the other members of the Executive Committee are afraid to stand up to her. "

You have a choice:  Stand up to the bully by doing your (voluntary) job, or quit.  The others on your board don't seem to have a backbone, so looks like it is up to you.

If it was me I would contact a lawyer and have a letter written from the board to the woman essentially telling her the law (in writing) and barring her from the meetings for her inappropriate comments.

As I said, " Your choice."  What happens after you leave is no longer your concern.  Otherwise, do the job for which you volunteered. :twocents:
« Last Edit: June 29, 2017, 03:55:51 am by Ron-the-Elder »
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline Rita

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #20 on: June 29, 2017, 04:01:04 pm »
Thank you Ron-the-Elder!

Offline sjaakie

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #21 on: July 01, 2017, 11:44:46 am »
Hi Rita,

That is pretty tough for you. And I can see why you are struggling with it.

The advice from other members is good - I would just like to add something pratical you can do now.

I would try to meditate and imagine them bullying you. You will then feel your body change - maybe anger will come up because of the injustice, or maybe you will cry because it is very hurtful. Maybe both and more things too. Let it happen and watch. Cry if you need to. Then watch the feeling closely and see it stay as an emotion, then go away. The feelings in your body will stay longer but if you just watch them and have let the emotion go (letting go) then I think this may help you. If you repeat this you will find it easier to not "attach" to the feeling they give you when they say nasty things.


Hope that could make it easier to cope. It is a very difficult situation :-(


Sjaakie


Offline Rita

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Re: To let go or not - please help
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2017, 07:22:18 am »
Thank you for this advice Sjaakie. I will try it over the next few days.

 


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