Author Topic: Where to live with a family to live a buddhist life  (Read 1115 times)

Offline Tjorven

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Where to live with a family to live a buddhist life
« on: November 20, 2015, 07:08:07 am »
I am quite new - I started to be interested in buddhism about one year ago, finished my first 10 day retreat two weeks ago - and I started wondering. I have a husband and a small son and we are currently (my husband's job opportunity) looking for a place to settle (we are from Europe and are considering various EU countries and we would prefer to live in a village or small town to living in a city).

I was wondering how will I be able to manage to continue growing in buddhism... Having small children, it is difficult to travel great distances and participate on long retreats. I also often feel that I would need help, an advise, a supporting community in everyday life. Ideally, I would like for my children to grow up in a community that would share similar values and would not promote so much of the things that are around us right now and are considered normal or even healthy like cosumerism, competing, guilt, ego... With mine and my husband's families being atheist and our environment being atheist / christian, I don't really have any support whatsoever, and being a beginner myself, I often find myself lost.
I find raising children a very important task. I know how much the ideas suggested by my parents and my environment influenced me. Living with my child in an environment that promotes a very different values from what I think is right, while still being at the beginning of my journey trying to see the truth and get rid of many unwholesome schemes in my brain, I am afraid that I won't do well as a parent. (E.g., being the only parent in my class telling my child that competing and fighting against each other is not good and not necessary, the only one who does not buy him trendy clothes etc.)

I know that there are various retreats centers and monasteries in Europe, where one can come to live alone for some time - but as I said, with small children not a very possible way... I've found some "buddhist groups" but only in major cities (and I'm not sure what this means). I was thinking about whether there are some areas, villages... where buddhist families gather (around the retreats centers maybe?? or is this a false idea?), where there is a bigger concentration of buddhist families who cooperate topgether, create a community... Can one find something like that in Europe?
Thank you very much in advance for any guidance or hint.

Offline Antonio1986

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Re: Where to live with a family to live a buddhist life
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2015, 05:27:08 am »
Please read the following poem and then I hope you will understand, that it doesn't matter the place for living a proper buddhistic life.
Buddha said: "You are what you think". Whether you are in the center of London or in the Bodh Gaya, where Buddha attained unsurpassed, supreme Enlightenment, what really matters is how you choose to interact with your environment and the people surrounding you.

The City by C.P. Cavafy
You said: “I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,
find another city better than this one.
Whatever I try to do is fated to turn out wrong
and my heart lies buried as though it were something dead.
How long can I let my mind moulder in this place?
Wherever I turn, wherever I happen to look,
I see the black ruins of my life, here,
where I’ve spent so many years, wasted them, destroyed them totally.”
You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore.
This city will always pursue you. You will walk
the same streets, grow old in the same neighborhoods,
will turn gray in these same houses.
You will always end up in this city. Don’t hope for things elsewhere:
there is no ship for you, there is no road.
As you’ve wasted your life here, in this small corner,
you’ve destroyed it everywhere else in the world.
“I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free!"


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