Author Topic: Buddhism and sexuality  (Read 2306 times)

Offline IdleChater

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #60 on: November 17, 2017, 05:58:41 pm »
Addiction always fosters fabrication to justify itself.  :fu:

This brings us to one The Clover Maxim that states we should not confuse cleverness for the profound.

Here you're trying to sound profound, but it's just clever wordsmithing and then only barely.

KInd of like when you were posting "Just sit" ten times a day.  You get on something and you just hammer it for all it's worth.

I wonder just who's adicted here.


Offline VincentRJ

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #61 on: November 17, 2017, 10:01:59 pm »
If we hold on to our present sexuality too tightly we will suffer.  If we let it go, it will dissolve as naturally as it arose.  If I try to quell it through force, it's just another kind of clinging and will cause suffering.  In fact, if you see sex as something that must be forcibly refrained from, then you will most likely make it even worse, in the long run.

Further, forced abstinence is more of an excercise in ego reinforcement than merit accumulation that leads to enlightenment.  No if you're not getting any, you have nothing to worry aboput there, but you would still have to deal with the attachments that attend frustrations from sexual inactivity.

That's an interesting point. How does one quell sexual desire through force? I can understand one can quell sexual activity through force, by forcibly separating men from women, and by jailing pediophiles and rapists for example. But, I can't imagine how one could quell sexual desire by force.

Please enlighten us all. Are you suggesting taking specific drugs that have the effect of diminishing the sexual drive, or even castration, for example? Or perhaps you are suggesting that people might flagellate themselves with a whip every time they experience sexual desire.

The Buddhist method is to willingly separate oneself from contact with women (not forcefully) if one has a problem in this respect, as the order of Buddhist monks does, and/or to meditate on the disgusting nature of female flesh when stripped of its alluring facade of smooth skin and make-up.

For the record, I have complete control over my sexual desires when awake, and I do not need to avoid contact with women. I can even photograph nude women without experiencing uncontrollable sexual desire.

I write 'when awake' because I don't have complete control when asleep. I occasionally experience, very occasionally, spontaneous ejaculations when asleep. I assume that's just a natural process of nature cleaning out the system. There is nothing in this respect to disapprove of, in Buddhism. However, masturbation is not allowed in Buddhism.

Hope I've managed to enlighten you on this topic.

Offline ground

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #62 on: November 17, 2017, 11:29:25 pm »
I wonder just who's adicted here.
Find the one who's wondering.  :fu:

Offline IdleChater

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #63 on: November 18, 2017, 07:21:12 pm »
That's an interesting point. How does one quell sexual desire through force?
 

Well, you can't, but that doesn't seem to stop people from trying.


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The Buddhist method is to willingly separate oneself from contact with women (not forcefully) if one has a problem in this respect, as the order of Buddhist monks does, and/or to meditate on the disgusting nature of female flesh when stripped of its alluring facade of smooth skin and make-up.

That's the monastic way of doing it, perhaps. 


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For the record, I have complete control over my sexual desires when awake, and I do not need to avoid contact with women. I can even photograph nude women without experiencing uncontrollable sexual desire.

Congratulations.

I've been able to do that since I was 16 years old.

How old are you?


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I write 'when awake' because I don't have complete control when asleep. I occasionally experience, very occasionally, spontaneous ejaculations when asleep.

Whoa!  I thinks that's way more info than most of us need, y'know?

That is called "nocturnal emission",  or more crudly, a wet dream.  Most males stop having them in their mid-teens.

How old did you say you are?

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I assume that's just a natural process of nature cleaning out the system.


No, that isn't it at all.

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There is nothing in this respect to disapprove of, in Buddhism.

I'm sure there are some BNuddhist's in their mid-teens that will be glad to hear it.

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However, masturbation is not allowed in Buddhism.

And not so glad about that.


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Hope I've managed to enlighten you on this topic.

No not really.  Telling us about your wet dreams was kind of a buzzkill.

Offline ground

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #64 on: November 19, 2017, 12:27:36 am »
What are the signs of sexual addiction?

Advocating and rejecting sexuality are the signs of addiction. See:

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From contact as a requisite condition comes feeling. From feeling as a requisite condition comes craving. From craving as a requisite condition comes clinging/sustenance. From clinging/sustenance as a requisite condition comes becoming. From becoming as a requisite condition comes birth. From birth as a requisite condition, then aging & death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair come into play. Such is the origination of this entire mass of stress & suffering.

What is the appropriate attitude towards sexuality? See:

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From the cessation of contact comes the cessation of feeling. From the cessation of feeling comes the cessation of craving. From the cessation of craving comes the cessation of clinging/sustenance. From the cessation of clinging/sustenance comes the cessation of becoming. From the cessation of becoming comes the cessation of birth. From the cessation of birth, then aging & death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair all cease. Such is the cessation of this entire mass of stress & suffering."


Seen?  :fu:

Offline VincentRJ

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #65 on: November 19, 2017, 03:18:19 am »
For the record, I have complete control over my sexual desires when awake, and I do not need to avoid contact with women. I can even photograph nude women without experiencing uncontrollable sexual desire.
 

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Congratulations.
I've been able to do that since I was 16 years old. How old are you?

Really! I assume you must be very young then.

I was 16 in 1958. I never had the opportunity, nor the desire, nor a suitable camera to photograph nude ladies back in 1958.

I'm now very fit at the age of 75, have no known health problems, and recently climbed to 5,400 metres in the Himalayas, in Nepal, during 3 weeks of trekking several kilometres every day, up and down rough and stony walking tracks without the aid of a walking stick, which most much younger tourists seem to need.

I attribute my good health to a good diet, regular exercise, periodic fasting, a calm and controlled state of mind, and sexual abstinence.




Offline IdleChater

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #66 on: November 19, 2017, 04:28:01 am »
For the record, I have complete control over my sexual desires when awake, and I do not need to avoid contact with women. I can even photograph nude women without experiencing uncontrollable sexual desire.
 

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Congratulations.
I've been able to do that since I was 16 years old. How old are you?

Really! I assume you must be very young then.

I was 16 in 1958. I never had the opportunity, nor the desire, nor a suitable camera to photograph nude ladies back in 1958.

I'm now very fit at the age of 75, have no known health problems, and recently climbed to 5,400 metres in the Himalayas, in Nepal, during 3 weeks of trekking several kilometres every day, up and down rough and stony walking tracks without the aid of a walking stick, which most much younger tourists seem to need.

I attribute my good health to a good diet, regular exercise, periodic fasting, a calm and controlled state of mind, and sexual abstinence.

It's pretty easy to manage sexual abstience when your 75.

Easy when you're 65.

You don't need to cultivate a strong practice or even self control.

Good to know your health is good though.

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I was 16 in 1958. I never had the opportunity, nor the desire, nor a suitable camera to photograph nude ladies back in 1958.

Dude that's wierd.  When I was 16 my friends and I didn't stop at wanting to photograph naked women.  We wanted to do all sorts of things with them.  Did your parents give you saltpeter as a nutritional supplement?

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I assume you must be very young then.

I'm younger than you, but not by much.  What's VERY mean?



Offline VincentRJ

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #67 on: November 19, 2017, 05:30:22 am »
Dude that's wierd.  When I was 16 my friends and I didn't stop at wanting to photograph naked women.  We wanted to do all sorts of things with them.

If history is weird, I don't see how you can have any understanding of Buddhism.

In order to understand Buddhism, one has to have an appreciation of the historical circumstances in which the Buddha found himself.

To describe past situations as weird, in relation to your current situation, shows a complete lack of understanding.

Offline IdleChater

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #68 on: November 19, 2017, 09:04:11 am »
Dude that's wierd.  When I was 16 my friends and I didn't stop at wanting to photograph naked women.  We wanted to do all sorts of things with them.

If history is weird, I don't see how you can have any understanding of Buddhism.

In order to understand Buddhism, one has to have an appreciation of the historical circumstances in which the Buddha found himself.

To describe past situations as weird, in relation to your current situation, shows a complete lack of understanding.

Dude, what wierd is someone who is 75 still fretting over his/her sexuality, bagging about not getting wood when doing nude photos and having WDs.  And then tell the world.  That's wierd.

Why do you even worry about it any more?

Offline VincentRJ

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #69 on: November 19, 2017, 02:59:13 pm »
Dude that's wierd.  When I was 16 my friends and I didn't stop at wanting to photograph naked women.  We wanted to do all sorts of things with them.

If history is weird, I don't see how you can have any understanding of Buddhism.

In order to understand Buddhism, one has to have an appreciation of the historical circumstances in which the Buddha found himself.

To describe past situations as weird, in relation to your current situation, shows a complete lack of understanding.

Dude, what wierd is someone who is 75 still fretting over his/her sexuality, bagging about not getting wood when doing nude photos and having WDs.  And then tell the world.  That's wierd.

Why do you even worry about it any more?

It's interesting that you think I am fretting or woryying about the matter. I attach great importance to clarity of expression, so I'd appreciate it if you could point out any comments I've made in this thread which imply that I am fretting or worrying about my sexuality. I'd like to see whether or not I've used confusing terminology, because the fact is, I am not worried or fretting about the issue at all. I'm simply offering what I believe are truthful comments related to the subject of the thread.

In fact, I would add that my state of having complete control over my sexual desires does the opposite of causing fretting or worrying. It creates a sense of complete freedom from fretting and worrying, and a great relaxation.

It's also interesting that you think I was boasting when I mentioned that I could take photos of nude ladies without feeling sexual arousal. The reason I mentioned that was because you had previously commented, in reply #50:
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I sense someone with absolutely no sex life, who is trying real hard to compensate through Buddhism. You must be a real buzzkill at parties. In fact, are you even invited to parties?

I was merely trying to dispel your apparent delusion that sexual abstinence must result in a very boring life. I lead an interesting life in my retirement and travel a lot. Photography is one of my hobbies.

Offline ground

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #70 on: November 21, 2017, 01:34:29 am »
What do you both intend to do about your sexual addiction?  :fu:

Offline IdleChater

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #71 on: November 21, 2017, 04:37:17 am »
What do you both intend to do about your sexual addiction?  :fu:

Well, if I really was addicted to sex,. I might consider taking action.  I am, however, addicted to hatred of the Dutch.  And carnies.  Lutefisk.  Republicans. Tom Cruise movies. Geraniums.

Offline PeruGuru

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #72 on: December 04, 2017, 03:47:30 am »
I have always viewed healthy sex as just a normal part of life. Why anyone or any ideology/religion would get caught up with a normal biological function, & blow it out of proportion, allow it to go off on wild tangents, and not simply see it for exactly what it is, is beyond me. Just another part of life. I do understand the physical & emotional aspects, the closeness between partners, the bond created. Thing is, for some reason, many taboos have surfaced over one of the, if not thee, most normal biological function. Pleasurable, and conducive to propagating the species. About it.
Because sex is such a powerful motivator, many throughout history have used it as a method of social control. The idea that a supreme force tells me what to tell you has constantly plagued mankind. Freedom, in my opinion, regards listening to all sides and then making one´s own decisions. Sexual behavior in Buddhism could easily be understood to mean if one´s activities do not cause suffering to anyone, they are fine. One could also draw from teachings on the differences between love, as in "Love thy neighbor" and desire, which means you just want to do it. More simply put, do you care about yourself or other people?

Offline jimsouth

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #73 on: January 29, 2018, 02:58:16 am »
I remember an incident when I was, maybe 16; an age when, for the typical healthy young man, is a constant battle with hormones. When I look back, I see the humor. I'm 16 & she is 15; and we are fooling around up in her room. I'm sweating testosterone; and things are progressing. I knew her father, and knew what would happen ( at least to me ) if he caught us. I ask her if her father owns a gun. She says, my father carries a gun; and that about ended the tryst. I'm walking toward the door, and she sits on the edge of the bed, and hikes her skirt up to her waist. She immediately had the upper hand. The next words out of my mouth were: IS YOUR FATHER A GOOD SHOT? 

Offline Anemephistus

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Re: Buddhism and sexuality
« Reply #74 on: January 29, 2018, 01:46:57 pm »
I remember an incident when I was, maybe 16; an age when, for the typical healthy young man, is a constant battle with hormones. When I look back, I see the humor. I'm 16 & she is 15; and we are fooling around up in her room. I'm sweating testosterone; and things are progressing. I knew her father, and knew what would happen ( at least to me ) if he caught us. I ask her if her father owns a gun. She says, my father carries a gun; and that about ended the tryst. I'm walking toward the door, and she sits on the edge of the bed, and hikes her skirt up to her waist. She immediately had the upper hand. The next words out of my mouth were: IS YOUR FATHER A GOOD SHOT?

 :lmfao: Ahhh the young

 


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