Author Topic: Buddhist advice to be able to deal with boyfriend's past...  (Read 1811 times)

Offline cristiana

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Buddhist advice to be able to deal with boyfriend's past...
« on: March 25, 2016, 11:18:21 am »
My boyfriend cheater for five years on his ex-girlfriend and I sometimes don't believe in my relationship with him because of that. I'd like to stop his past from interferring in the way I look at him, but I know too many sordid details and I think it's hard to trust someone who lied so much. I don't think he's doing anything wrong right now, but deep down I think he'll cheat and lie.

I'd like to live in the present and enjoy our relationship while it lasts, even if it doesn't last forever, but sometimes I have a bad feeling towards him and I can't let go, and I know that it's his past interferring in my judgement. Otherwise he showers me with affection and is really loving. (The only bad thing besides is past is his insecurities and possessiveness)

To sum up: I guess I want to be happy while it lasts and stop my paranoid thoughts?

(I'd like to listen to buddhist advice, because if I post this question in other forums people will just tell me to dump him)
« Last Edit: March 25, 2016, 11:20:58 am by cristiana, Reason: say why i used a buddhist forum for this »

Offline Cetaka

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Re: Buddhist advice to be able to deal with boyfriend's past...
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2016, 05:34:34 am »
It seems important that he's being honest with you about having cheated- maybe he regrets it and is trying to get better.  Everyone has problems in their relationships, so if he does give in to his tendency to cheat then it's best, in my opinion, to deal with it then.  My ex was oddly close with her best friend (and they did, in fact, start dating after we broke up), but I didn't stop her from hanging out with him because I knew I could trust her.  I don't know if your boyfriend deserves trust or not, I guess that's your call to make- but it always makes me feel better to trust people.


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