Author Topic: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?  (Read 560 times)

Offline emrys

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
    • View Profile
Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« on: February 17, 2017, 11:46:40 am »
I'm a trans guy which means I was born a female but I feel like a male since then. I always loved girls. Being transgender is like a man's soul which got stuck in a woman's body. It feels terrible so I try to find my inner peace and love myself. I love my body, it just needs some changes you know. That is all my body needs. I love the body the universe has given me. I'm new to Buddhism. What does Buddhism say about this?

Offline zafrogzen

  • Member
  • Posts: 278
  • I've been practicing and studying meditation since
    • View Profile
    • zafrogzen
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2017, 12:25:31 pm »
Welcome,

I don't know that Buddhism says anything about that. But Avalokiteshvara apparently gradually transitioned from male to female over the centuries, to become Kwan Yin and Tara.
My first formal meditation training was with Shunryu Suzuki in the 60's and later with Kobun, Robert Aitken and many other teachers (mainly zen). However, I've spent the most time practicing on my own, which is all I do now. I'm living in a rather isolated area so I miss connecting with other practitioners. Despite my interest in zen I've made an effort to remain secular. You can visit my website at http://www.frogzen.com

Offline Ron-the-Elder

  • Member
  • Posts: 4486
  • May all beings live rightly and harmoniously.
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2017, 01:25:13 pm »
Quote
emrys:" I'm new to Buddhism.  What does Buddhism say about this?"


Hi, emrys. 

First let me welcome you to our website at Freesangha.  This forum is for those members who have an interest in GLBTI issues.  So, you may feel free to discuss these issues with anyone here.

As far as what Buddhism thinks about these issues, the Vinaya rules for monks and similar rules for Bhikkhunis address that which causes harm, or disrupts harmony within the sangha, the community.  The precepts are rules of the community, and are concerned with keeping order in the sangha for all members, no matter what their gender, or sexual persuasion, so long as no harm is caused to either yourself or others, because Buddha taught that there are consequences for each of our intentional actions.

Quote
emrys:  " It feels terrible so I try to find my inner peace and love myself." 


This is essentially Buddha's first Noble Truth found in his Four Noble Truths:  Life is suffering, unsatisfactory, no matter what our current condition, because of the nature of the universe in which we live, constantly arising and decaying. No matter what the situation,  it  will not last, things will change, because they are all impermanent,and corruptible.  Even if our life condition is very pleasurable, happy, or joyous, these things are guaranteed to change for us eventually as we age, acquire diseases and eventually die. The status-quo is but an illusion, a futile wish.   This impermanence,  lack of certainty and dissatisfaction is what will eventually cause both a physical and psychological collapse,an erosion within our lives, and eventually an undesired end to our current condition followed by death and rebirth...and then more of the same. 

This place in which we live is called samsara:

Quote
An ocean of tears :  Samsara

"Which is greater, the tears you have shed while transmigrating & wandering this long, long time — crying & weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing — or the water in the four great oceans?... This is the greater: the tears you have shed...

"Long have you (repeatedly) experienced the death of a mother. The tears you have shed over the death of a mother while transmigrating & wandering this long, long time — crying & weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing — are greater than the water in the four great oceans.

"Long have you (repeatedly) experienced the death of a father... the death of a brother... the death of a sister... the death of a son... the death of a daughter... loss with regard to relatives... loss with regard to wealth... loss with regard to disease. The tears you have shed over loss with regard to disease while transmigrating & wandering this long, long time — crying & weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing — are greater than the water in the four great oceans.

"Why is that? From an inconstruable beginning comes transmigration. A beginning point is not evident, though beings hindered by ignorance and fettered by craving are transmigrating & wandering on. Long have you thus experienced stress, experienced pain, experienced loss, swelling the cemeteries — enough to become disenchanted with all fabricated things, enough to become dispassionate, enough to be released."

— SN 15.3


Quote
emrys:  " I love my body, it just needs some changes you know. That is all my body needs. I love the body the universe has given me."


Buddha's second Noble Truth is that there is a cause to this suffering and dissatisfactoriness in our lives.  That cause is our desire to cling to that which is impermanent and will eventually be taken from us no matter how must we don't want it to be. This includes our loved ones, who will all eventually die. This includes the bodies that we have been given as it will eventually die as well.

The Third Noble Truth is  the good news that there is a solution to this seemingly inescapable problem world in which we currently live, this problem we all experience based upon the universal fact of impermanence, and that is that we can escape at least the suffering part of it all by living our lives in accordance with The Noble Eight Fold Path, which is found in Buddha's Fourth Noble Truth.  Aging, pain, disease and death cannot be escaped, as even The Buddha aged, became diseased, experienced pain, and eventually died.  But, according to the suttas he was not reborn and doomed to re-experience this endless cycle we call samsara.  As a result of following and living his life in accordance with The Noble Eight Fold Path he was unbound, and released to a state known as nibbana, where karmic effect ceases, and suffering can take no foot-hold. We become invisible to The King of Death.  This was his explanation and promise to us.

If this is your interest, my suggestion would be for you to begin exploring Buddhism by studying, understanding, and practicing what has been taught by Buddha here.:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/study/truths.html

As you do this, please feel free to ask questions, and to share your progress with other members of Free Sangha in this and other forums.

There are many different traditions and schools of Buddhism.  Many are represented within our website.  I would suggest you visit them all and to stay where you feel most comfortable and feel like  you truly belong.  Talk and share with their participants. :hug:



« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 08:56:20 am by Ron-the-Elder »
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline Weagean

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2017, 09:37:03 pm »
I don't think Buddhism teaches against homosexuality or what we may attribute to it. Sexual sin in the Buddhist context is like sleeping with someone else's spouse or someone in your care in your household. There could be other issues with interpersonal interactions, and personal inner peace, not Buddhism. These may be difficult to grapple with even in meditation. Seeking counsel from a Lama, Buddhist friend, or psychiatrist may be helpful or needed. Nevertheless, you shouldn't receive any judgment from any Buddhist, myself included theor I think anyone in the Sangha of Buddhist. Peace.

Sent from my KFTBWI using Tapatalk


Offline KathyLauren

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2017, 07:20:04 am »
I don't think that the Buddha had anything to say on the subject of being transgender.  I take that to mean that, per se,  it is not relevant to the process of eliminating suffering.

However, he did have a lot to say about attachments and eliminating them.  Since a gender transition is fertile ground for attachments, there is good reason to proceed cautiously and mindfully.  I see some trans people who apparently are attached to the desire for a new life.  They obsess over the ideal characteristics that they must have.  I think many of those people are in for a fall.  The ones who succeed are the ones who concentrate on eliminating their attachments to their old life.  This is in accordance with the teaching that attachments cause suffering and that eliminating attachments is the way to end suffering.

The trick is to be aware that attachments can go in both directions, and therefore to be mindful of which attachments you are pursuing and which you are eliminating.

Om mani padme hum
Kathy

Offline Spiny Norman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5097
  • Cool baby yeah!
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2017, 07:24:57 am »
I'm a trans guy which means I was born a female but I feel like a male since then. I always loved girls. Being transgender is like a man's soul which got stuck in a woman's body. It feels terrible so I try to find my inner peace and love myself. I love my body, it just needs some changes you know. That is all my body needs. I love the body the universe has given me. I'm new to Buddhism. What does Buddhism say about this?

"Wishing: In gladness and in safety,
   May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
   Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
   The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
   Those born and to-be-born —
May all beings be at ease!"
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/snp.1.08.amar.html

Offline Rahul

  • Member
  • Posts: 157
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #6 on: November 07, 2017, 06:48:10 pm »
Quote
Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
In the oldest Buddhist scriptures (Tipitaka), there are recorded incidents where people from various social classes, beliefs, religions, even Buddha's critics and haters etc. visiting Buddha. Buddha never rejected nor ill-treated anyone. He listened, talked, and taught dhamma to everyone alike. Buddhism of today is one the most all-inclusive ideology (I won't call Buddhism a religion). So yes, you are welcome just like everyone else.

Quote
I am ... What does Buddhism say about this?

Each one of us builds his/her identity in his/her mind: I am this, I am that, these are my principals, this is how I live... Buddhism doesn't criticize, never evaluate, never give labels like 'right identity' or 'wrong identity'. Your identity as a man's soul in a woman's body is just as good in every aspect as someone else's identity.

Having said that, here's what you need to consider.

Impermanence: everything we perceive, feel, experience, everything that exists... is all just a temporary formation. This includes the identity that we all have built of ourselves.

No-self: there is no enduring everlasting unchanging essence of any being that can be considered as identity or self. Ask yourself who are you? This body? These thoughts? This face? This name? What exactly is you? And what exactly is yours?

The truth of suffering: suffering and dissatisfaction is inevitable in life. Nobody is free from suffering. Look around and see who is free of suffering? Aging, disease, death, forced to live with what you don't want, forced to live without what you want... it's all suffering. And who is free from this suffering? No one.

The truth of origin of suffering: clinging. We believe we 'deserve' some things, we cling on to things we consider are 'ours' or our entitlement. And that clinging is the cause of suffering.

A major part of Buddhism is about acknowledging all sufferings and following a path to the cessation of the suffering for good. Welcome!

Offline ground

  • Member
  • Posts: 2089
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2017, 01:56:51 am »
...What does Buddhism say about this?
Buddhism can't speak. And everyone claiming to speak on behalf of buddhism is a liar. All people may express is fabricated understanding. :fu:

« Last Edit: November 08, 2017, 01:59:13 am by ground »

Offline Rahul

  • Member
  • Posts: 157
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2017, 04:01:23 am »
...What does Buddhism say about this?
Buddhism can't speak. And everyone claiming to speak on behalf of buddhism is a liar. All people may express is fabricated understanding. :fu:
And your understanding of rationality (which you claim in each post of yours) is not fabricated? And your understanding of people claiming to speak on behalf of Buddhism is not fabricated? Buddhism can't speak, but rationality can speak?

Offline ground

  • Member
  • Posts: 2089
    • View Profile
Re: Does Buddhism accept me for who I am?
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2017, 04:22:48 am »
...What does Buddhism say about this?
Buddhism can't speak. And everyone claiming to speak on behalf of buddhism is a liar. All people may express is fabricated understanding. :fu:
And your understanding of rationality (which you claim in each post of yours) is not fabricated? And your understanding of people claiming to speak on behalf of Buddhism is not fabricated? Buddhism can't speak, but rationality can speak?

Everything is fabrication. <-this too <- this too <- this too .... ad infinitum  :fu:

However even though e.g. water is a fabrication too, water may quench thirst although 'water may quench thirst' is a fabrication too.

In this vein only rationality can entail cessation of fabrication although 'In this vein only rationality can entail cessation of fabrication' is a fabrication too.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2017, 04:28:25 am by ground »

 


SimplePortal 2.3.3 © 2008-2010, SimplePortal