Author Topic: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?  (Read 663 times)

Offline sinan

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I know Buddhism teaches detachment and an end to craving, as craving causes suffering, but what does it teach about the hormonal imbalances in teens during adolescence? how do I solve my problems, and what does Buddhism have to say about romantic love and lust?

Offline zafrogzen

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Re: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2016, 10:59:00 am »
Like most religion, traditional Buddhism tends to be pretty down on such things, preferring illusive other-worldly concepts such as rebirth in better places. The human body is considered unclean in early Buddhist teachings. IMHO that is nonsense. Meditation ultimately brings one back into this body and life, with the realization that the present situation is where it's really at.

Appreciate and enjoy your life, especially while you're still young.
My first formal meditation training was with Shunryu Suzuki in the 60's and later with Kobun, Robert Aitken and many other teachers (mainly zen). However, I've spent the most time practicing on my own, which is all I do now. I'm living in a rather isolated area so I miss connecting with other practitioners. Despite my interest in zen I've made an effort to remain secular. You can visit my website at http://www.frogzen.com

Offline Pixie

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Re: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2016, 02:02:34 pm »
I know Buddhism teaches detachment and an end to craving, as craving causes suffering, but what does it teach about the hormonal imbalances in teens during adolescence? how do I solve my problems, and what does Buddhism have to say about romantic love and lust?

Hi sinan,
As far as I know, the Buddha didn't say anything about adolescent hormones. He did say this about loving couples  however:

Quote
Husband & wife, both of them
having conviction,
being responsive,
being restrained,
living by the Dhamma,
addressing each other
with loving words:
they benefit in manifold ways.
To them comes bliss.
Their enemies are dejected
when both are in tune in virtue.
Having followed the Dhamma here in this world,
both in tune in precepts & practices,
they delight in the world of the devas,
enjoying the pleasures they desire.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.055.than.html

May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May they all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May they never be deprived of true happiness devoid of any suffering.
May they abide in great impartiality, free from attachment to loved ones and aversion to others.

Offline Pixie

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Re: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2016, 02:07:06 pm »
Like most religion, traditional Buddhism tends to be pretty down on such things, preferring illusive other-worldly concepts such as rebirth in better places. The human body is considered unclean in early Buddhist teachings.

I think you're getting mixed up and confusing instructions which were meant for monks with teachings for lay practitioners.
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May they all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May they never be deprived of true happiness devoid of any suffering.
May they abide in great impartiality, free from attachment to loved ones and aversion to others.

Offline zafrogzen

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Re: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2016, 05:49:46 pm »
Pixie,

You're right, it was addressed to monks! All this time I thought that it was recommended as something simply good to believe in and practice.

So what is true for monks doesn't apply to us lay practitioners, and when I read that kind of anti-lust and body stuff, I should take it as not really true, unless one is a monk?

Maybe that is why in much of traditional Buddhist practice, such as Theravada and Tibetan, monks are considered to be a special, higher class of people than us regular folks.
My first formal meditation training was with Shunryu Suzuki in the 60's and later with Kobun, Robert Aitken and many other teachers (mainly zen). However, I've spent the most time practicing on my own, which is all I do now. I'm living in a rather isolated area so I miss connecting with other practitioners. Despite my interest in zen I've made an effort to remain secular. You can visit my website at http://www.frogzen.com

Offline DCEA108

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Re: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2016, 01:06:32 am »
My understanding is that the root of suffering is craving, per the Four Noble Truths. However, there's a world of difference between craving and appreciating.

My advice to young people, and my 19 year old daughter: Be patient with the complexities of the world's delusions as they are all just passing confusion. Find a living teacher with whom you can have a cup of tea or at least a verbal exchange face to face. Nothing replaces that exchange between a wise person and a student. Not even the Internet! Good luck ;)

Offline Dblues8

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Re: Building craving and attachment towards girls as a teenager, help?
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2016, 01:09:59 pm »
Date a super cute girl! Don’t worry about it, just don’t sleep with the whole cheerleading squad.

Just meditate a ton, do retreats.  This trumps everything.

Have fun.
Meditate a lot.
Get a hot girlfriend.

 


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