Author Topic: My enlightenment experiences and what came after.  (Read 648 times)

Offline Mist

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My enlightenment experiences and what came after.
« on: August 31, 2015, 07:18:55 pm »
My first experience was intense and blissful. The love I felt was truly shocking. At the time I was using zen techniques. Focusing on the moment. My job was high stress. I had hit rock bottom emotionally. Yet I did not attach any thought. I was not thinking about ending the pain. I was not doing it for religion. I was just being. Surviving.  So there I was working At high speeds when suddenly the world shifted. people looked like animals. Playing pretend. Their words made no sense but they were pretending to understand each other. All the symbols and signs outside the window meant nothing. Yet I could see how everyone seemed to worship and obey them. All the while I was filled with the most intense love imaginable. Sadly shortly after I experienced duality at its fullest. I experienced the dark night of the soul. The most terrifying thing I have ever encountered. So much in fact that I puked for two weeks straight. The fear was that intense. Sadly after a while I ended up checking myself into a hospital. the fear was ever present. and eating away at me. I had pushed my ego to the breaking point. My mind wouldn't shut up. I tried every meditation technique imaginable to no avail. So medication was taken. now... The funny thing is. When I tried to practice meditation, the fear started to creep back up. So instead. I gently ran what I experienced through my life . Looking for the missing piece of the puzzle. Trying to discover the proper path. Then tonight it all finally fell into place. My fear was my karma. . A result of completely silencing my ego for that moment at work. To kill ego is to kill a living being. Eating a plant. is to kill a living being. to eat meat. is to kill a living being. Heaven is someones hell. Hell is someones heaven. One cannot exist without the other. Saints are sinners, sinners are saints. You cant have one without the other. there is one more thing.... Buddha is a savior... he is also the devil. That is why the koan exists. What would you do if you saw Buddha walking down the street? and the famous answer.... kill him. Enlightenment is not good. It is not bad. It is a burden. It is a blessing. You hate it, You love it. it brings calm. it brings fear. It is impossible to describe. yet so simple. Do not enter the path unless you are fully prepared for your world to be beautiful chaos and terrifyingly rigid at the same time. You end up flying....and free falling. I must say though.... i have found a strange peace at the moment. as for the suffering in the world. all are to blame. the good the bad and the in between. Even Buddha himself has an opposite. Mara. Treat your enemy as you would yourself. Because they are you. every good action is one swing on the pendulum. every bad action is a swing on the pendulum. but here is the catch. do nothing. and you will do everything. you will always have an opposite. so do your best. don't judge. smile. or be serious. be you. be yourself. try to see from both sides. If you are experiencing love and light. Try to see from the others point of view.  And accept them for who they are. Every enlightened master experiences their own pure realm. be it painful or beautiful.


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