Author Topic: Thoughts on arising and aversion  (Read 232 times)

Offline VisuddhiRaptor

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Re: Thoughts on arising and aversion
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2018, 03:34:18 pm »
I am a Lieutenant. For my department there are only two security ranks higher...

Two more ranks, according to MN 130, you would be Lord Yama.

I spent a long time getting past many troubles with the teachings, my life has been improved immeasurably by them. I feel very like I have had a new mountain to climb arise in front of me when I took this promotion about a year ago, its a good challenge but I am getting tired and old and mountains are always there.

Dhamma Friend ... all I can say it sounds pretty heavy. I doubt any of us here can imagine being in your position. To most of us, it looks like a Hollywood movie. My sister, who is not a Buddhist, just said: "Does he want a miracle or what?"

  :pray:

« Last Edit: January 16, 2018, 06:45:21 pm by VisuddhiRaptor »

Offline Anemephistus

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Re: Thoughts on arising and aversion
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2018, 06:19:05 pm »
VR, earnestly, Please, save the politics for another thread and another time. There are those who may wish to engage you on this topic I may even wish to debate you if you like at the right time over the proper subject; However this is not that time and not my purpose in this thread.  I request you keep to the religious understanding you posses if you would please concede to do so for the short time we are discussing this.

I do not wish to sound as though I am special, I am not, the dharma however is special. I share the following so that there is context. I have had many miracles.  Life has provided me with many powerful storms, this job is not the greatest suffering I have endured, it's just different. I have lost both of my parents, my home, I have lived in the cold and been a drug addict, I found the Dharma in my early twenties while trying to get sober. Every experience I have shared I have shared with truth. Each struggle I have found in life has been a rung, having the hands for grabbing it through struggle has been a blessing, the strength of the dharma for climbing over each rung...it has been a miracle. I do not need a miracle made, the change the Dharma brings is miraculous, it simply requires right effort, discernment, and the insight to apply the eight fold path, currently I am lacking some of these on my own, but some of these posts, they have given me directions to investigate and teachings I need to meditate on and consider the ramifications of. I have stood in this wind for going on thirteen years, it has grown stronger, I have taken shelter, now I too must grow stronger, or be moved, or walk away from the storm. 

The others have given me a lot to consider, paths to investigate and places in which effort might be applied and teachings to guide me. I will keep letting everyone know how it goes.   

To borrow an example of a thought:

A carpenter with an old beat up hammer, he cannot tell you how much it wore down each day, he cannot say that the decrepit tool came to it's condition by what percent at what time. It was new when he bought it and each day he used it. Eventually, it is worn out but he has made lovely furniture.  This process, it goes both ways with the mind. Move slowly in the right direction forever, or the wrong one, or wobble between. I am seeking to progress, to get comfortable and to find subtle joy, yes, it has been romanticized by Hollywood  yes it is foreign to people. There are people all over the world suffering, some of them live in places, under conditions abjectly horrific, and find happiness, right now, I am warm and trying to let that be enough. Later, I will put a lot of effort into this issue.

ADDED LATER: Just to be clear, I have aversion and am not comfortable right now, but my stress level is not extreme and I am not suffering a terrible trial making unmanageable stress that I cannot cope with at all, just a complicated one to navigate and one which i am trying to overcome because I am not coping with it completely and it is making me more uncomfortable than I think I might need to be with right discernment. 
« Last Edit: January 16, 2018, 06:43:15 pm by Anemephistus »

Offline Spiny Norman

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Re: Thoughts on arising and aversion
« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2018, 02:36:40 am »
After a time the staff become cold and unkind, sometimes rather dualistically, they are apparently well loved outside of their work but the personality they adopt to survive their stress can be savage and unempathetic. The exposure for long term officers results in shortened life span, studies show a 50% survival rate of staff who retire past five years, that is, they retire then only about half live longer than 5 years. I am going into my thirteenth year of service, I have seventeen more to go if I wish to retire from this.

That sounds very difficult, not an easy environment to cope with.  Is there any possibility of a sideways move, maybe Probation, maybe law enforcement?  Or perhaps something completely different? Is there any way you could simplify your lifestyle in order to live more cheaply, thereby working less hours ( I'm not sure if your wife is working ?)

Many moons ago I worked as a Probation Officer, then a social worker.  Eventually I burned out, and did something completely different - it was like I'd given as much as I could, there was really nothing left.

Offline Anemephistus

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Re: Thoughts on arising and aversion
« Reply #18 on: January 17, 2018, 08:10:03 am »
After a time the staff become cold and unkind, sometimes rather dualistically, they are apparently well loved outside of their work but the personality they adopt to survive their stress can be savage and unempathetic. The exposure for long term officers results in shortened life span, studies show a 50% survival rate of staff who retire past five years, that is, they retire then only about half live longer than 5 years. I am going into my thirteenth year of service, I have seventeen more to go if I wish to retire from this.

That sounds very difficult, not an easy environment to cope with.  Is there any possibility of a sideways move, maybe Probation, maybe law enforcement?  Or perhaps something completely different? Is there any way you could simplify your lifestyle in order to live more cheaply, thereby working less hours ( I'm not sure if your wife is working ?)

Many moons ago I worked as a Probation Officer, then a social worker.  Eventually I burned out, and did something completely different - it was like I'd given as much as I could, there was really nothing left.

I have considered a move to a couple of different things and I have looked into simply going back the rank I was at before. The internal way that our structure works makes a time about four or five months from now best for that last idea, when that window passes it may well be two years before another opens. I may well move, demote or find different employment, my thinking is that it took me a good two years to get decent and comfortable with what I was doing before at this job before my most recent promotion, I have been doing this for about a year. I figure it has been a long time at this job in general and it is worth the effort of trying with focus to get comfortable with this too. If that fails, yes there will have to be a plan B.

If you don't mind my asking, What was working as a probation officer like?

 


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