Caught a spiritual infection

[Brinal1]

So I live with my 66 year old grandmother. She retired from work 2 years ago and has since become increasingly unhappy. I have a one year old son so it is difficult to get out on my own even though I would like to. I pay her a hefty amount of rent as well. Lately, I have noticed that her misery is rubbing off on me. She has become so mean to me and I am becoming more defensive with everyone. I know that I should not go out into the world with a defensive attitude. I'm finding it extremely difficult to pull myself out this sadness. Even with meditation and constant mantras, her anger still seems to get me riled up. I feel like I am in a petri dish of misery. I'm here for a little reminder that my purpose is bigger than her. Also, what kind of self work can I do so that she can not penetrate my bubble of light and happiness

[Cetaka]

That sounds like someone I also must have daily contact with.  Although he still gets me down sometimes, I have been working on a) distancing myself, b) reminding myself that nothing he says matters because I cannot trust it to be accurate, right, or non-meanspirited, and c) seeking comfort in other, more kindhearted souls.  Maybe at least the latter two would help you.

I don't want you to be miserable.  You are my sisterbrother, and I want your suffering to be alleviated.  Maybe my wish would help, who knows?

[Brinal1]

That sounds like someone I also must have daily contact with.  Although he still gets me down sometimes, I have been working on a) distancing myself, b) reminding myself that nothing he says matters because I cannot trust it to be accurate, right, or non-meanspirited, and c) seeking comfort in other, more kindhearted souls.  Maybe at least the latter two would help you.

I don't want you to be miserable.  You are my sisterbrother, and I want your suffering to be alleviated.  Maybe my wish would help, who knows?

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me and, futhermore, for your kind words. Your suggestions are right and exactly what I needed. You are right, I cannot depend on her to be a nicer person so I need to keep that in all of the corners of my mind when we are interacting.

[stillpointdancer]

When this sort of thing happens to me, I use the Buddhist idea of anyone being bad to you is the result of you asking them to be like that when you met up between lives. Before being reborn, you decide what has to happen to you in order to make progress, or maybe burn off bad karma. You beg someone who thinks a lot of you to be reborn in order to treat you badly. In which case, they are doing what you wanted and you need to thank them and wish them well- at least in you metta meditation. Nothing changes but your relationship with the situation.

I don't  take this story literally, but use it to change how I deal with the situation, when I mentally thank the person for being kind enough to do that to me. Or if it's too bad a deed and I can't think that, at least I can use it as a reminder of why I am a Buddhist and meditate; that it is there as a possibility for everyone to change, and that in some small way I am keeping it going.

[Brinal1]

That makes so much sense. I often wondered why, in between lives, I chose to layout such a difficult path for myself. I never thought that I made an agreement with certain people. It makes a lot of sense, but how does this behavior affect their karma?

Sent from my SM-G935T using Tapatalk

[stillpointdancer]

If you think about it, they might have been reluctant to agree to treat you badly. In actually doing so they accumulate merit and burn off bad karma by helping you in this way.