Author Topic: How to not compare yourself with other people  (Read 253 times)

Offline emrys

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How to not compare yourself with other people
« on: February 17, 2017, 11:36:07 am »
Hello my friends! I'm a good student but sometimes I lose all of my confidence because I think I'm not good enough. I think I'm not smart like others. I feel like I'm a waste of space and worthless. How can I stop comparing myself with others and have inner peace?

Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: How to not compare yourself with other people
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2017, 08:09:57 pm »
Perhaps you might begin by asking yourself why you want to compare yourself with others.

Who is this self of which you speak?

Who or what would you rather be if you are dissatisfied with various aspects of this self?

Can you achieve your aspirations with just a little more effort on your part?

If you achieve your aspirtions, who or what will you be then?

Will you be satisfied with the new you?  Will your satisfaction last?  If not, what will you want to be next?

Will this process ever end?

Just some things to think about.

Buddha taught that no matter where we look there is no self, no intrinsic, permanent self, which could ever be found.  This is discussed in his teaching regarding Anatta and emptiness:

Resources for study: 

Anatta  http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/selvesnotself.html

emptiness  http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.122.than.html



« Last Edit: February 17, 2017, 08:14:06 pm by Ron-the-Elder »
What Makes an Elder? :
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But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline stillpointdancer

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Re: How to not compare yourself with other people
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2017, 04:44:16 am »
Hello my friends! I'm a good student but sometimes I lose all of my confidence because I think I'm not good enough. I think I'm not smart like others. I feel like I'm a waste of space and worthless. How can I stop comparing myself with others and have inner peace?

Society is designed to make you feel like that. Are my grades as good as the rest? How much money do I have compared to the rest? Is my house better? Is my car better? Am I as good looking? And so on.

Luckily, you seem to have found Buddhism. Instead of measuring against others, we can follow the path. One that is all about change. When change is all there is, the only measure that counts is if you are trying to change as you want to.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka

 


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