Author Topic: Seeking approval  (Read 1128 times)

Offline Woodsy

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Seeking approval
« on: January 11, 2016, 05:56:34 am »
Being raised and schooled in Catholicism, I seek everyone's approval and strive to be perfect.  This is a heavy burden.  How can Buddhism help me?

Offline Spiny Norman

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Re: Seeking approval
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2016, 12:54:47 pm »
Being raised and schooled in Catholicism, I seek everyone's approval and strive to be perfect.  This is a heavy burden.  How can Buddhism help me?


It sounds like developing more self-acceptance would be helpful and something which might help with that is the metta bhavana practice, particularly the first stage: http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one

Could you say some more about your current relationship with Catholicism?

Offline a-skier-bows-to-the-dharm

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Re: Seeking approval
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2016, 03:24:15 pm »
An application of Buddhist poetry might be good.

the great way is without difficulty
for those who have no preferences
Neither love nor hate and the way will be clear
but make the slightest differentiation
and heaven and earth are set apart
if you want it to appear
be either for nor against
...
From Faith in Mind, Seng Ts'an (?) about 606

My teacher said that you could choose any one of these basic things and use it for practice for the rest of your life. My own favorite is to hear every sound (including human voices) as dharma (Buddha's teachings). But Faith in Mind is more beautiful, and aesthetics are important.

There is a great Vietmanese translation of this, i mean by a Viet translator, into English. It is also in The Poetry of Enlightenment by Chan Master Shenyen (deceased).
But any other poem will do, and poetry is more fun than most other stuff

Offline Woodsy

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Re: Seeking approval
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2016, 04:20:29 pm »
Being raised and schooled in Catholicism, I seek everyone's approval and strive to be perfect.  This is a heavy burden.  How can Buddhism help me?


It sounds like developing more self-acceptance would be helpful and something which might help with that is the metta bhavana practice, particularly the first stage: http://www.wildmind.org/metta/one

Could you say some more about your current relationship with Catholicism?

Thanks for your response.

I left the Catholic church in my late 20s when I became a born-again Christian. I went to Catholic schools for 12 years during the 50s and 60s. I left Christianity 3 years ago. 

Offline Spiny Norman

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Re: Seeking approval
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2016, 07:05:37 am »
I left the Catholic church in my late 20s when I became a born-again Christian. I went to Catholic schools for 12 years during the 50s and 60s. I left Christianity 3 years ago. 

Yes, I see.  Many western Buddhists were brought up as Christians, and the transition is not always an easy one.

I went to a Roman Catholic boarding school, but it didn't take, I was an atheist by the time I left.  :wink1:

Offline Amorphos

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Re: Seeking approval
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2016, 02:08:41 am »
Woodsy,

You wrote:

Quote
I seek everyone's approval and strive to be perfect.

Perfect, in what way? Once you get this approval, then what happens?
Uddhumataka – Vinilaka – Vipubbaka – Vicchiddaka – Vikkhayitaka –
Vikkhittaka – Hata-vikkhittaka – Lohitaka – Pulavaka – Atthika

 


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