Author Topic: What Should I do with My Mother's Cremated Remains?  (Read 295 times)

Offline Tomme1955

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What Should I do with My Mother's Cremated Remains?
« on: March 06, 2017, 04:03:19 pm »
Hello,

I wonder if someone could help me.

My mother passed away 3 years ago, and she was cremated.

I placed her remains in an urn. 

I’ve kept the urn containing my mother’s remains in our apartment over the past 3 years.

However, I know the apartment is not the best place to keep my mother.

She suffered very much over the last 3 years of her life at the apartment since she was struggling with cancer.

And even before she had cancer, she wasn’t very happy at the apartment.

Also, I live alone and feel very bad when I have to leave her alone at the apartment when I go out.

Does anyone have any suggestion as to where would be the best place to keep her?

Should I bury her remains somewhere?  Place her in a columbarium?

Perhaps it would be better to scatter her remains somewhere so that she can return to nature?

Or perhaps there may be a better option?

Any advice, opinions, thoughts and guidance would be deeply appreciated!

Thank you very much for your kind attention and assistance!

Tom

Offline IdleChater

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Re: What Should I do with My Mother's Cremated Remains?
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2017, 08:55:53 am »
That's a hard question to answer.  If your mother had no wishes about what to do with her remains, then, it's pretty much up to you.  As long as there is respect, there really isn't  a right or wrong. 

There are laws that relate to scattering cremains, so you should be aware of those laws before you break them.

Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: What Should I do with My Mother's Cremated Remains?
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2017, 01:06:32 pm »
Quote
Tomme1955:  "Does anyone have any suggestion as to where would be the best place to keep her?"

Hi, Tomme....  Just a few adds to what has already been written:

Was there a location, which your mother found pleasant or in some way sacred or special to her?  If so, then consider spreading her remains sparingly across that area.  For example a friend and I used to run cross-country and skii in a park.  When he died, his children spread his ashes throughout the park. 

Another idea:  The father of one of my wife's first cousins loved hunting, and used to frequent certain aquatic ranges.  He requested that some of his ashes be reloaded into a shotgun shell and fired into the air, where he and his son used to hunt.

Sounds bizarre?  Yes.  It sounded that way to me, too.  But, it is just another way to honor and remember a loved one.

Buddhism usually doesn't recommend such things,but there are traditions where the remains are left for vultures and other large animals in the area to devour the remains.  These are called charnel grounds.  In The West this would certainly be considered bizarre.  So, from culture to culture the only certainty is that there will be practices of one culture that will be considered by another culture to be bizzare.

As far as the remains are concerned, since the living being is dead.  They won't care.  The one that matters as far as caring is concerned is you as another board member has already said in other words. :r4wheel:

Hope this helps.

_/\_Ron
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

 


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