Author Topic: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence  (Read 1200 times)

Offline Geogaddi

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Hello all, looking for some input and guidence
« on: October 01, 2015, 01:13:16 pm »

About 3 years ago i heard about meditation from a book called the power of now, my search came from a deep state of depression and anxiety and longing for a solution to my suffering.
coming from a mostly atheistic background i used the tools mentioned purely as a stress reduction device, focusing on my breath or the present moment brought me a small glimpse of peace among the suffering i was dealing with.

earlier this year, i went through the worst state of panic and despair imaginable, it lasted for hours, but eventual i managed to use what i had learned from reading on meditation, sat down and focused on the room as if i was just born into it.

what occurred next is beyond words, purely ineffable, a force reached out to me, a force i recognized as myself yet not myself, at first i worried that i had become psychotic, i now wonder if psychotic breaks and experiences of satori are somehow related, i was viewing myself as a 3rd party, separate yet one, with my self, and everything around me, i walked around in a state of peace that felt so familiar yet i have never conceptual known before, free from thought, free from identity, free from fear, yet connected with everything. this experience lasted but a few hours, and since then i have been struggling to get back there, I've had similar glimpses with practice but nothing close to the realization i had that day, i feel the desire to re-experience this is what is holding me back on the new spiritual journey i have set out on, if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated.

Many thanks

Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2015, 07:04:43 pm »
Hi, Giogaddi.

I have found it best to just observe during meditation when first beginning meditation practice.  Don't try to control anything, just observe and learn how your mind behaves. 

As for various mind states and sensations of self:  Buddha taught that no impermanent phenomena of the mind, what he called mental factors are in any way a self.  Such a self picture is just a delusion.  Therefore, no need to seek such experiences repeatedly as they are truly ephemeral, as are the rest of what makes up the being we have come to understand as the mundane self.  Therefore, "no me", "no my", or "no mine" of any kind should be sought or attempted to be held as any kind of possession.  Buddha described the notion of a permanent self as "like foam on the surface of The Ganges"....insubstantial, although ever arising, it dwells for but a time, and then passes away, deteriorates, collapses.  So, what point in clinging?  Such attachment will only lead to frustration, anxiety, angst, and resentment.

In Buddha's Four Noble Truths, he explains that attachment and clinging to anything transient and short lived (ephemeral), will only lead to our stress, pain, suffering and dissatisfaction, what he called dukkha in the Pali language.  Therefore, to avoid dukkha, avoid all such personal behavior of clinging and grasping.  That is one reason why it is wise to learn to just observe and avoid participation and interaction during meditation, during practice of mindfulness and in all other respects as we progress along our individual paths.  We are promised that practice of such beneficial conduct in earnest will eventually lead us to a life of peace and contentment. :dharma:
« Last Edit: October 01, 2015, 07:18:00 pm by Ron-the-Elder »
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline ཨོཾRaZor༄

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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2015, 03:03:39 am »
Don't try to get back there or be attached to meditative experience.  It's just an experience. Read a book on shamata meditation. Learn about what it means to apply antidotes to wildness and dullness. Develop concentration and be happy.   Peak experiences occur due to climbing to the mountain peak . You climb step by step and the bulk of the "journey" is getting "there". And with Buddhism it's more of an opening than a journey. You are already there it's just covered up. 

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