OK, that subject line includes a little irony. Let's just say I am Buddhist-challenged (but then isn't everyone?)
I have been studying Buddhism for about ten years now, introduced to it via Course in Miracles, which I recognized as being a form of Buddhism for a certain audience. I instead decided to go right to the source material, as it were. Found that Buddhism resonated with me more than just ACIM.
It's a difficult road for me, and I have had a lot of things come to light that opened my eyes and made things appear even more difficult. It's a daily task to remember that it's just an appearance. I experienced a few days of what could only be called near-enlightenment, but then lost it when the old self came crashing back in. I got a taste of what I am supposed to achieving at least.
One of my setbacks is that my introduction to Buddhism included interactions with a cult leader who used his own mutated form of Buddhism to built his cult and turn women into sex addicts (including my ex.) That left a real stain on the practice of meditation and the study of Buddhism for me, since I have difficult in separating the acts with the memories of the bad experiences. It's challenging enough to let go, but when the PROCESS of letting go itself triggers memories which snap you back in, it's tougher. Thrown in some ADD and PTSD and it's a mess.
Or at least it APPEARS to be a mess. I don't like permanent labels, they are a real binding force.
Anyway, just doing my intro thing. Glad too meet you all.
