Author Topic: Usual kind of speech and adressing in Dhamma-communities in traditional countrie  (Read 403 times)

Offline Samana Johann

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Having been asked via pm about a unknown "habit" or "conduct" in speech Atman thought of introduce a topic for it, since it is sadly not very popular to introduce or even addopt by being reminded, good "un-cool" ways of speech.

Here the starter:

Just curious to know what does 'Nyom' mean?

"Nyom", ញោម ( pāḷi in roman script: ñoma) is traditional used by ascetics/homeless (pabbajito) to adress householders and originaly used to adress ones mother or father by people having gone forth into homelessness, here in Cambodia. Since adressing by "householder" may have caused some aversion of the time, it's now usuall to use Nyom for all not-homeless or ordained people as a kind third person adressing.

Atma is not sure about the origin and literary meaning but guesses it has its roots from "Oma" (inferior) or "anoma" (not inferior) in what ever way and it could be that it is a kind of brahmanic addoption, yet in no way meant as self lifting.

It's generally very impolite to adress in 1st person or by name, increases the notion of "you" and "I" and is not very conductive for right view and estimation of ones positiin in an relation ship.

With increasing of the wrong view "all are equal", with influence of communistic views in this regard, like since a longer usual in the west or better modern world, it's in the beginning not easy to bear and was also a matter of "aversion to use" for my person for a longer time, but having seen that it also has a kind of "separate the wheat from the chaff" in regard of right view and is sometimes a very conductive "provoking" of defilements, a good challenge, my person has addopt it and also uses this ways of spreak even if unusuall and sometime really trouble causing also in communication with "modern" people.
It might remind one or the other that no long time ago similar ways of speech have been used in "modern" world, not far more then one or two generations.

"Nyom" should neither be taken as pleasant nor as unpleasant but just describing a certain sitiuation in a "relation", good always as a reminder of ones external situation.

Please feel inspired to use the topic for such questions or answers. (General discussion about "right and wrong" and views are for sure better put in new topics of discussion)

(In reagard of the PMer: it should not be understood as impolite nor does it have any "personal" reason, that Atma does not support "hidden" communication. Places for practice are rare and hidden, illusional protections are very common in use, so its good to use a forum since community is the best protection if even practising the Dhamma and it does not come to unhealthy and dangerous relations. Doing things not "secretly" generally is on one hand a gift for many and requires a lot of sacrify in regard of good deeds especially, and to lay all open, having the feeling that the governing principles are always present, seen or unseen is also very conductive for the practice on the path. Atma trust that it will be understood rightly and maybe even appopted. Maybe my person will give some general hints for good conduct within relationships and a community intended to gain and maintain right view. Addition: Just seen that my person had shared it already som years ago here, this guideline: "Without gratidute no success", if interested.)
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 07:37:52 am by Samana Johann »
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Offline VisuddhiRaptor

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Having been asked via pm about a unknown "habit" or "conduct" in speech Atman thought of introduce a topic for it, since it is sadly not very popular to introduce or even addopt by being reminded, good "un-cool" ways of speech.

Here the starter:

Just curious to know what does 'Nyom' mean?

"Nyom", ញោម ( pāḷi in roman script: ñoma) is traditional used by ascetics/homeless (pabbajito) to adress householders and originaly used to adress ones mother or father by people having gone forth into homelessness, here in Cambodia.


This & many other such idiosyncratic mannerisms are inappropriate on English language forums because they give the impression of both conceit & not considering others; of putting oneself before others & of craving to intrude or force things upon others. These  idiosyncratic mannerisms are not beautiful behaviour but dirty defiled things requiring abandonment & cleansing.

 :lipsseald:

Offline Pixie

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I have a feeling of déjà vu.....
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 10:45:56 pm by Pixie »
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May they all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May they never be deprived of true happiness devoid of any suffering.
May they abide in great impartiality, free from attachment to loved ones and aversion to others.

Offline Samana Johann

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Atma is actually very greatfull to live near peoole with not only much tolerance but also still having good views in regard of what is proper, even for the most very poor and uneducated (you might judge them), soldiers famers, Brahmans (all usually very attached to birth and kind). Don't sink that such is a matter of nation and bith but a matter of Mangala, the highest blessing. May how ever, one or another ancestor of them be able to receive their gift and you may no more disturbed in strange fear living under mushrooms with things you held as dirt. May you always gain and be provided with the food you like and being served it the way it does not touches your self-estimate in uncomfortable ways.

May you always success to clean out what gives unwished hold providing escape from your beloved realm. May your existences are always full of nourishment you seek and health that leaves you feel comfotable and last as long as possible.
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Offline Rahul

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Thanks Samana Johann for the elaboration.

English is just a medium for learning and exchanging ideas. Buddhism didn't come from an English speaking country. So have some manners people, and accept that there will be lots of non-English words used by members throughout the forum. 

Offline Pixie

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May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May they all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May they never be deprived of true happiness devoid of any suffering.
May they abide in great impartiality, free from attachment to loved ones and aversion to others.

Offline Samana Johann

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Here in Cambodia it is still usuall to use the third person approach to refer to one self and others.

It's not only the undertaking to use a lesser direct and personal way to speak but also encourages constantly to think about the certain relations to others and requires very much attention in regard of the context itself at least.

One needs to investigate ones own social state and that of others well to participate in a communication, even in greating.

Usually, under civil normal people, family ranks are used to give oneself and others a certain position when talking. Generally, to be polite and liberal, one put others always a little bit higher.

Some sample: If young peolpe would speak with each other, one would adress each other with "older brother/sister".
If a young person adresses an older he would call him/her "oncle or aunt" or "grandoncle..." As for oold people, or people with virtues, respected persons, "granfather/mother", is used.

In more polite way a word is added which expresses something like "my dear..."

Using names to adress others, even third persons one talks about, is merely impolite and disregarding in therms of care of the person one speaks about.

Direct adressing, first person, like "I", "you", "name calling"..., althought also here there are more or lesser polite words in use, is very poor speech and used only within relations of people with no, low education and very low social position.

It might seem as very useless, and "un-cool", but such a speech, althought it can of course be used for lifting one self, requires very much care and attention, does not really allow opening the mouth without investigating the situation very carefull.

In action it needs very much attention in regard of the context and, something one would not aspect at all, a very dedached on impersonal reflextion of situations and deeds would be reached.

While speaking one is also able to give others hints in how one should regard someone else so that a non informed would not make a mistake. Like if one would use "Grandmother" if talking about an old or respectable woman to a child.

So it is also very useful in regard of introduction and helps to have possible best and proper regard and orientation in the community.

The more this way of speak collaps, the more others know how mindless or "follish", self-centered another currently is.

This pattern is also a general indicator of a sociaties maturity and spititual development.

And yes, it goes totally agains the modern and common tendency, caused by "cool" infuence, disappearing very fast, similar this ways disappeared in Western countries within only two generations, nearly already unknown and total stange in modern and "cool" communities.

How ever, it's a perfect tool to train right speech and lead discussions in very attentive and careful ways, at least very self- and person-detached, like if standing outside, uninvolved.
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