I've been more distracted with negative emotions recently. So I read all the postings here and searched around the web for more answers. Most of them advised against pushing the emotions away so that I can go back to the breath. Most say that I should gently observe with loving kindness the emotions I am feeling. By confronting the emotions, this emotion will disappear and I can get back to my breath.
The first thing to understand is that emotions are mental factors, one of The Five Khandas, also known as the Aggregates.
Study resource:
http://what-buddha-said.net/library/Buddhist.Dictionary/dic3_k.htm#khandhaThese factors, these aggregates, these khandas, when clung to, or represented as, or thought of as a form of "self" cause suffering. Our goal is to eliminate suffering, and that is why we come to a thorough and exhaustive understanding of The Four Noble Truths, and the Noble Eight Fold Path, which is the means taught to us by Buddha Sakymuni as to how to escape this samsaric realm in which we live. The Noble Eight Fold Path is The Way, The Middle Way of escape, so, if you haven't done so yet, get busy studying, understanding, penetrating, and "practicing" The Noble Eight Fold Path.
Study resource:
http://what-buddha-said.net/library/Wheels/wh034.pdfOnce we understand that attachment to any of these mental factors causes only suffering, Buddha advises that we must let go of them, as we would let go of a poisonous snake that we picked up by the tail, lest we get bitten by it and invenomated.
But, how to do that? Some aspects of our lives are difficult to let go of. Can we let go of air? If we try, we feel severe acute periods of pain due to suffocation, fears and terrors arise that we will die,and then pass out if we have the guts to continue to hold our breath. Even that doesn't work. We each have animal survival mechanisms built in which motivate us to breathe after we loose consciousness, even if we force ourselves to stop breathing while conscious. So even this is not possible for our life sustaining breathing mechanisms.
But there is no such mechanism which forces us to "think" and "emote" and to "feel", to have "opinions", to hold "views", to "worry", to "remember", which are all mental factors. All of these can be eventually conditioned out of predominance in our minds simply by not paying attention to them, ignoring them, and oddly enough, simply becoming neutral with regard to them. But, this doesn't happen over night. Getting there, clearing our mind of them requires "practice", which is what meditation and mindfulness is all about. We have to work at it to develop skill at letting go of these, no matter with which of the five khandas we are dealing.
Buddha recommended developing "aversions" to that to which we have become attached and to which we are clinging. Aversion is simply a term which means that we replace "attraction" with "revulsion, disgust, or disdain" if it is persistant, or simply by observing it arise in our minds and doing nothing, but noticing that it is there, not acting upon its arival. Sort of like hearing the door bell, looking out the window to see who is there and then going about our business. Or, when the phone rings, simply listening to the answering machine to note who is calling and then going back to our business.
For the sake of peace of mind, tranquility, and harmony we must come to an understanding of how our mind works. We do this by observing the mind's activities during meditation and mindfulness practice. If any given mental factor persists there are effective means Buddha taught us to deal with such mental factors. For example, if we are constantly thinking about a certain food like ice cream, and our doctor has told us that our cholesterol is up and that we need to get it down, we can use aversion and begin to think of the harm that will be caused when you have a heart attack, or a stroke resulting from your desire for ice cream and the fats within it that will raise your cholesterol levels. So, in our minds when we think of the sweetness and the satiety associated with ice cream and feel desire arising, pair up that thought with something which causes revulsion rather than attraction, like puss oozing from an infected wound. Or do some studying about the animal hormones in ice cream which mess with our metabolic system, or associate ice cream with medical consequences of the left side of your face becoming paralyzed by a stroke, resulting in a partial loss of speech. In this way we reduce the desirable nature of the concept of ice cream in our minds and eventually our constantly "mental factor" seeking mind will avoid the concept. But, this takes time and practice.
However, I do not know how to gently observe with loving kindness an emotion. It looks and sounds simple on paper. But I'm at a total loss as to how to do it. Any strategies?
After simply observing, noting, and then ignoring, and/or developing aversion for such mental factors the next step is to strive through practices of meditation and mindfulness for "equanimity", no matter how any given mental factor affects us. That is to say that we strive to become neutral to any sort of mental factor which arise with the understanding that attraction leads to clinging, and fear, anger, resentment, rage, .....any of the negative mental factors of emotion cause clinging as well. We can actually become attached to such emotions and cling to them, just like we can become attached to desirable emotions such as lust, love, happiness, joy, and etc.. The reason is that such mental factors cause adrenaline to be produced in us as we become excited. And we can become attached to the adrenaline rush. In recognition of this fact, the idea is to become neutral, to treat all mental factors with equanimity, neutrality, and thereby remain calm, and tranquil even in very stressful situations. This equanimity of mind when fully developed can make us much more effective in times of emergency, and when fully developed lead us to a most harmonious life-style overall. It is well worth working towards through daily practice.
Again, how do we do this? Aversion is again the key. Reflect upon the consequences of our actions: "What will be the result of becoming attached to such an emotion?" Since all attachment and clinging to anything, including positive or negative emotions leads to suffering, then our goal must be to become "unattached" for the sake of harmony. Unattached equals neutral. Neutral equals equanimity. Equanimity equals harmony.
Now let me clarify that neutrality, equanimity, doesn't mean that we callously just don't care. No! It means that we realize that any form of attachment or clinging, or preferences will lead eventually to suffering, stress, and dissatisfaction. Keep in mind that aversive image of grabbing a venomous snake by the tail.
I am really sorry if this has been covered else where. I have read it, and I think I must be really dumb because I just don't understand how to do it. I really need some help.
That's what forums are here for. Feel free to ask questions about anything which comes up in your practice. One of us on these boards will be glad to share in accordance with their understanding of The Dhamma.
