Author Topic: Don’t talk about others’ mistakes  (Read 862 times)

Offline Melodious Conch

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Don’t talk about others’ mistakes
« on: July 28, 2015, 06:10:56 pm »
 :r4wheel:Khenpo Tamgrin Rinpoche:



Nowadays, no matter where they go, many people talk about others’ mistakes behind others’ back frequently. Actually, this is itself a kind of mistake. In general cases, we shall not praise or speak ill of all sentient beings and there is no need to talk about right and wrong or strong and weak points. If we are not in good will and it is of no special meaning, we shall not talk about others’ mistakes.



Offline Melodious Conch

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Re: Don’t talk about others’ mistakes
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2015, 01:39:41 am »
I totally agree with you. @antiquebuddhas :anjali:

Offline dharmacat_

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Re: Don’t talk about others’ mistakes
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2015, 02:46:10 pm »
I think it depends on the speech, its one thing to merely be speaking a unflattering truth, tellling someone they are doing something hurtful or someone else in effort to stop it and simply insulting someone behind their back.

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Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: Don’t talk about others’ mistakes
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2015, 03:02:08 pm »
Discussing mistakes is permissible only when asked by the person who made them , or to their superiors when this fails to affect necessary change, IMHO.  Another circumstance where this discussion is appropriate is when the individual has done harm, or committed illegal acts, such as rape, arson, abuse, theft, or other felonious acts to vulnerable person or persons.  This should be reported to jurisdictions in charge and all confirming evidence preserved and/or given, such as personal and factual testimony.  I understand that to discuss such things with others outside of these exceptions is simply gossip and serves no beneficial purpose. 

As I have been personally guilty of this practice in the past without considering the merit, I appreciate the reminder, Ripoche', and will strive to avoid such actions as the opportunity arises.
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Offline MissGrape

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Re: Don’t talk about others’ mistakes
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2015, 06:46:20 pm »
I also appreciate the reminder. Thank you Melodious Conch.  :namaste:
:buddha: ~ Watcher on the Wall ~ :buddha2:

Offline Ron-the-Elder

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Re: Don’t talk about others’ mistakes
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2015, 07:52:36 am »
DK posted the following in another thread:

Quote
AN OLD PROVERB

An old proverb tells the story of a person who repeated a rumor about a neighbor. Soon, the whole community had heard the rumor. Later, the person who spread the gossip learned that the rumor was untrue. He was very sorry and went to an elder in the community who had a reputation for great wisdom to seek advice. The elder told him, “Go to your home and take a feather pillow outside. Rip it open and scatter the feathers, then return to me tomorrow.” The man did as the elder had instructed.

The following day, he visited the elder. The elder said, “Go collect the feathers you scattered yesterday and bring them back to me.” The man went home and searched for the feathers, but the wind had carried them all away. Returning to the elder, he admitted, “I could find none of the feathers I scattered yesterday.” “You see,” said the elder, “it‘s easy to scatter the feathers but impossible to get them back.” So it is with gossip; it doesn’t take much to spread hurtful words, but once you do, you can never completely undo the damage.

I thought it fit well in this thread.
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

 


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