Author Topic: How to heal the crack in marriage  (Read 683 times)

Offline Melodious Conch

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How to heal the crack in marriage
« on: July 04, 2015, 09:06:59 pm »
Question: What to do once there is a crack in marriage? How to heal the crack?

Guru Khenpo Tamgrin Advises:

Husbands and wives are normally opponents for lives. Like an old saying goes “opponents are destined to meet”. However, this can be changed through wisdom and Dharma practice. The relationship can get improved as long as the mind is changed. Do not be selfish. The genuine respect to each other only comes from casting off self attachment and treating each other sincerely. You can only benefit the other side while you are not selfish. Once your mind has changed, either your relationship or your fate will also change accordingly. Treating each other sincerely can resolve the problem.

Both husbands and wives should learn to forgive. Generally speaking, people are all similar in respect of making mistakes and having shortcomings. A marvelous saying goes that: “accept a person’s shortcomings if you want to accept this person.” which is a real acceptance and like such the relationship can also last longer. If you merely focus on the strong points of the potential partner before marriage and only see the shortcomings of him after marriage, a divorce will probably come. The observation should firstly focus on his (her) shortcomings. When you want to accept a person, you should decide whether you can simultaneously accept his (her) shortcomings. If it is yes, then it is a real acceptance, the relationship might last long, and while living together, both will feel happy.

Both male and female shall not be too sentimental while living together, since except for living itself, nothing else matters. Being tolerant is most important. The relationship between husband and wife is not exceptional either, and not departing from the fact of conditions coming and leaving. Do not be so obsessed, accord with conditions more or less, then both could feel happier and the relationship might last longer.

Men should be wise and knowing how to lead the life. True happiness lies on how less you bother rather than how much you own. A happy family life lies on the same. Having wisdom is very important and taking transpositional consideration is of same importance as well. If you are wise and can put yourself in others’ shoes, nothing will be problematic. This is very important!

The fact of conditions gathering and dispersing is also adoptable to the relationship between husband and wife. Once deciding to be together, both parts shall be dedicated to the lives. Happiness should be created by both parts rather than by a single. A happy family is created by all family members and similarly a happy team is created by all team members.


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